Jesus: Good Morning Bud.

Me: Good morning, did you wake me up?

Jesus: What do you think?

Me: Wow.  (it was 4am)

Jesus: I just wanted to tell you.  You’re raw right now.  Every little success feels like success itself and every little failure feels like failure itself.  This is a lie.  I do not measure success and failure as the world does.  My concern is more on the upright and the wicked, the wise and the foolish.  Bud I am teaching you and giving you righteousness, you are the man who has fallen seven times and keeps getting back up, the one I warn the wicked against in Proverbs, because you keep getting back up.  The temptation will be to allow the lowness you feel at your sin to crush you., to believe those voices in you heart that I have told you are not me.  My friend Dwayne told you something true of my way.  Keep on the path and a day turns into a week, and a week turns into a month, and a month turns into a year and you look back and you’ll see how far you’ve come.  For many years my friend, you couldn’t even go a night without angling for some way to pleasure yourself.  Look how far you’ve come in just these few short weeks.  Your failure then is not failure itself.  Don’t you know?  You already are a winner.

Me: But I feel so weak.

Jesus: Good, in your weakness I am strong. 

Me: So what next?

Jesus: Today you look to me.  Go be of service.  Find something to do.  You may be tempted to play the X-Box again but put it away for awhile.  Last night you were looking for it to be a comfort to you.  I have already sent you the comforter-my Holy Spirit.  There is nothing wrong with fun activities but they are only that, a fun activity.  Comfort on the other hand is more, deeper, and must be realized first or those other good things you desire will loom too large in your heart.

Me: Like her?

Jesus: Yes.  Your desire to be a good husband will never happen apart from me.  You will angle, lie, manipulate, pretend you are this or that to make her like you.  She already does.  Has already told you she wants to be friends.

Me: But I don’t know how. 

Jesus: You’re learning aren’t you?  Trust me.  Lean on me when you feel weak. 

There was more but what was really cool was I was tempted to go back to bed and he told me not to, told me that wasn’t a good idea.  Told me to go for a walk.  So I did.  On the way back, when I started to think about what she would want in a man he said;

Jesus: Be that then, don’t just pretend to be it, be it. 

That takes time but I’ll be okay.